Did you hear that Tennessee had their scout team QB dress up as Superman to impersonate me? Complete with a cape and everything. That's awesome! While it's flattering cause I love the comic books and all, but there's a big difference between me & Superman. Kryptonite is his weakness. And as long as I'm playing football on this planet I dare you to find my weakness. Go ahead and try. Just ask Tennessee how that worked out.
I should have done this a little earlier on the blog, but I'd like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ for making our offense as potent as it is. Without God blessing myself and the Gators, none of this would be possible. And while God did create man, he obviously didn't create all man equal. Which is why there are Gators and then there are Vols. Clearly you can see the difference (about a 39 pt difference!)
So the film has been watched and all the donuts & chocolate cake stickers have been handed out to fatty fatty Fulmer. Our team nutritionists have done all the calculating to come up with a new weight for the coach who just suffered his worst loss ever at Tennessee. The verdict is this: cardboard cutout Fulmer now weighs in at 528 lbs.
That's right he gained 100+ lbs due to all our good plays that earned a sticker. Now you might think that's a lot, but realize that on any one play a couple guys could earn a sticker. For example, when I'm dropping back into our own endzone and throw a perfect strike to Percy who is streaking downfield for a 48 yd catch, that earned both of us a chocolate cake sticker to feed Fulmer. So it was easy to pile the poundage on the guy.
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