Hand Over the Heisman

All right here's the deal people, the Heisman Trophy belongs to me. There is no debating it. I don't want to sound all cocky but there's a lot of naysayers out there and the only thing they can say is we lost 3 games and I'm a sophomore. Are you kidding me? That's the best you got. Seriously. If Coach Meyer would have let me play defense we probably wouldn't be sitting on 3 losses now. I have an idea for anyone who doesn't think I should win - gather 5 of your biggest friends, put on as many pads as you want, and meet me at Florida Field for a little game of 1 on 6. I'll wear shorts and my favorite pair of Crocs and I bet you won't be able to tackle me before I get in the endzone.

Our season is now over and I have personally crushed anything that got in my way this year. Want some proof? Look at the stats. I don't have the time or patience to scrutinize them here. I'll leave that up to you. But here's the one that matters. I get results. How many times you ask? 51 TDs. Fifty One! Half a hundred plus one more. 51 x 6 = 306 pts all by myself. No Heisman trophy winner has EVER had that many TDs in a season. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

And I did it playing in the SEC, not some WAC schedule. I became the first player in the history of college football to have 20 passing & 20 rushing TDs in the same year. I'm setting records here. What I have done is unprecedented. And people are just baffled by it. Don't worry folks, I'm not done. I plan on being the first 100 - 100 player. I'm setting the bar that high. Putting it out of reach. Just like this Heisman race. Sorry to all the pretenders out there. If you attempted tackle me this year and got punished, then you've got a story to tell the grandkids. "Back in 2007 I got run over by Tim Tebow. First sophomore to win the Heisman."

That trophy is mine. End of discussion.

Pain. What is That?

I wasn't going to mention this but it's gotten reported in the media so here it is. Yes I broke my hand against FSU at the beginning of the second half. It's no big deal. I wasn't leaving the game and I didn't even know it happened. I also finished a game in high school with a broken leg. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - I DO NOT FEEL PAIN.

FSU Just Plain Sucks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Florida 45 FSU 12

Take a look at that score. Breathe it in. Soak it up. Looks pretty nice doesn't it? That is what happens when you get out of line. I put you back in your place. And FSU's place is at the bottom of the pile. They are now officially a joke. Our offense handed FSU a proper punishment by way of 45 points! Our defense also played out of their minds keeping the 'Noles out of the endzone all day. In fact the only FSU highlight was their kicker making a 60 yd field goal. A field goal! Ha! Field goals are for suckers.

I want to make sure we get the credit we deserve. The Florida Gators are responsible for Bobby Bowden finding a new job. Welcome to Walmart!

Time to Battle

It's on FSU. You made a foolish choice this week by speaking out of line. Get ready to face the consequences of your actions. This is going to be an awesome battle of two great college football rivals. There will be fantastic plays. There will be bloodshed. And there will be pain. Lots of pain. There will be grown men wearing garnett & gold crying when it's all over. Crying like little girls that just watched her mean brother rip the head off her favorite doll. Actually I'm talking about FSU fans here, most of their male fans played with dolls as a kid anyway. This one is going to be sweet.

I AM SPARTA!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving I've got a few things to be thankful for:
I am thankful that God gave me awesome physical strength & talent to produce on the football field.
I am thankful that Geno Hayes opened his big fat mouth and gave me some extra motivation for Saturday. Obviously they don't teach respect at FSU's Clown College.
I am thankful to all the ladies out there for the support. Keep those panties coming my way!
Lastly I am thankful (in advance) to all the Heisman Trophy voters out there.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

According FSU linebacker Geno Hayes, I will be "going down on Saturday" and they are going to "shatter my dream". Who is this joker? I plan on dragging his sorry ass into the endzone a couple times. I know I've been trying to downplay all their comments in the media, but here on my blog you'll get the real scoop. And Mr.Hayes I've got a message for you: I'm going to destroy you. I'll be looking for you every play just so I can run you over. Seriously there will be footprints up & down your back and many more bruises to your body and ego. After I'm done, you'll probably want to give up football because you will be the punchline of a joke. Get ready for a new nickname - Geno "I Got TEBOW'D" Hayes. So hang on for the ride pal, it's going to be a painful one! And it won't end when the game is over, because starting Saturday night I will haunt your dreams. Forever.

Needless to say, all this smack talk by FSU is making me angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

20-20 Man

Florida 59 FAU 20

Well we had a little bit of a game there in the first half. Then we put it all together and rolled to a big win. So The Path Of Destruction continues. Turns out that in yesterday's game I made college football history. I became the first player to ever have 20 TDs passing & 20 TDs rushing in the same season. Wow, I can't believe nobody's done that before. It wasn't even really that hard for me. I score touchdowns, it's what I do. A lot of them. It's really just that simple.

Ok, now that that little breather of a game is over, FSU is up next. It's the last game of the season and we hate those guys. I'm off to teach Sunday School and then hit the film room. See ya later Gator Nation.

Scrimmage Game Tomorrow

We will be holding a light scrimmage game tomorrow against Florida Atlantic University. It should be a good time for all the people who come out.


The only thing interesting is that FAU is coached by the fossilized Howard Schnellenberger. This guy turned the University of Miami into a powerhouse in the 80's. Now FAU has preserved him with formaldehyde and propped him up on the sidelines for games. They must have really sucked before because it's actually working. It's almost like Weekend at Bernies. The guy is practically dead and FAU is winning ballgames. Go figure.

See you tomorrow Gator fans!

Chuck Norris has Nothing on Me

Somebody sent me this Youtube video comparing me to Chuck Norris.

I don't even know who that dude is. I asked my dad about him and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Chuck Norris can't play quarterback at Florida." So then I went onto IMDB.com to learn more about this dude, apparantly he used to be a really tough karate guy. Well I have my own version of karate. It's called "grab the football
and run over the defender while they cling helplessly to my back and I drag their pathetic ass 15 yards into the endzone." That's the Tebow version of karate.

In fact some of Chuck Norris' movies like Bells of Innocence make him look kinda gay. I won't see Brokeback Mountain and I will NOT see Bells of Innocence either. I bet there's a walk-on at Vanderbilt that could beat this guy up. I mean just look at that aerobics video and draw your own conclusions. I did see that he was in a movie called Delta Force. Now I know where TJ got that from. He kept calling me "Delta Force" a couple weeks back when four different Tri-Delts came over four days in a row. Thank you Carrie, Bridget, Gabrielle & Allison! I can probably fit you girls in again in a few more weeks.

So please people, this request is personally coming straight from me, Tim Tebow - No more comparisons of me to Chuck Norris. Seriously, don't make me ask twice.

Make Yourselves At Home

Florida 51 South Carolina 31

"Well come on in fellas! Great to see all of you. Make yourselves at home, we're all Gators here. Want something to eat? Can I get you anything? Sure go ahead and sit in my chair, put your feet up and get comfortable. No no that's alright, you can leave your shoes on. Heck run around the house if you want. Oh don't worry about knocking over that old antique lamp, it looks better broken anyway. Well just sit tight, the cookies & muffins will be out of the oven shortly. Here have some beer. Awe hell, have ALL my beer. No no I insist, I can always buy more. Timmy you and your friends are always welcome here. I don't even mind that you all tracked mud throughout the house and on my bed and ceiling and stuff. I was going to repaint and get new carpet anyway. Before I do, go ahead and spray paint the place. Sure write Mangina all over the walls if you want to. You guys want to play with the dog? Go ahead and punt that little fur ball around, it my wifes dog and it feels good sometimes. Yeah kick our poor dog around the house, I don't mind. Again it's a pleasure to have you boys over. It's nice to see how football should really be played."

-South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier on Saturday while we came in and spent the night running all over the Gamecocks, on their home field.

I pretty much dominated this game with 7 TDs (5 rushing & 2 passing). Percy was out, so I had to take over. Just so happens that I broke the school record for rushing TDs in a season. Kinda cool. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that won't be the last record that I break.

Someone had to be Sacrificed

Florida 49 Vandy 22

I warned them. Somebody had to pay and Vandy was the sacrificial lamb. It's gonna be like this the rest of the way. I had a decent game but Percy just lit it up. He became the first player in school history with 100 yds rushing & 100 yds receiving in the same game. Poor Vanderbilt never had a chance.

I Won't Cry Anymore

Since the loss to Georgia I've been listening to Sheryl Crow's "I Won't Cry Anymore" over and over again. I finally just shut it off after an hour straight. Yeah I'll admit it - I'm a sensitive guy. But I'll still run your ass over. So think about that before you make any wise cracks about Mr.Sensitivo over here. A lot has been made about me taking our three losses very hard this season. Well what do you expect? We won the National Championship last year when I was a freshman. For most of my life I've know nothing but success. And now that I'm quarterbacking this team I expect to win them all.

Now that we've lost 3 games the pressure is off. All we are playing for is pride. The losses have only helped fuel my desire for destruction. I am going to work harder, run faster, lift more, pass more, score more, and inflict more pain on our remaining opponents.

I realize that as you've read this, it sounds like I've got a growing chip on my shoulder. And you know what - I do. I'm Tim Tebow. My legend is only going to get bigger. Check out this list of jersey sales. I don't see any other college kids on there do you? In fact here's a pic of one of my devoted fans.